Choices

I am starting make better ongoing food choices.

This morning I REALLY wanted chocolate. I wanted a bag of Malteasers (the big bags). Instead I got a small Malteaser Bunny.

My boss offered to buy Pizza for lunch. I said no thank you. I ate my cheese and crackers with a rice snack.

I am not setting records here, but I am making better choices.

Suck it Up

OK - If I can't exercise for weeks, maybe even months, I need to suck it up and tighten up the food.

No more piss farting around. None of this "oh it's too hard" bullshit.

I need to pick whether I am going to count calories or points then stick to it. 

Everything you read says this is 80% diet, 20% exercise. People can and do lose weight without exercise. Just because I like to do it doesn't mean I have to.

No more moping. No more sulking.

Time to diet...

Rationalising Poor Decisions

I have spent this morning perusing blogs and Twitter. Looking for that 'something' that will click with me.

I have read several "woe is me" blogs this morning.

You know the ones. I have had a shit week so I rewarded myself with chocolate. All my friends hate me so I ate a tub of ice cream. It's okay though, I will be fine when they love me again. That sort of crap.

And in my head I was sort of agreeing with them. I do that myself. But at the same time I was also thinking "that's not good, you shouldn't do that". 

(I am a complex person, I can agree and disagree with the same thing simultaneously...) 

Anyway, then I read two things that made me stop and think...

The first one was on a forum. The title was something about being proud of herself, then she went on to say her bf of x years had broken up with her THAT morning and she hadn't succumbed to the chocolate monster, she asked her friend to go for a walk on the beach with her instead of comforting her with crap.

The same day she broke up, she was proud of herself for this very strong decision.

The second thing was a Tweet - not 3 minutes later. Now I still don't really get Twitter, so I am not sure who to attribute this to as I am sure it had been retweeted a few times, so apologies if I am stealing your thoughts. But here it is:

"I stopped thinking food was good or bad. Stopped making food about emotions. Food is fuel. Doesn't have bad/good morals"

Now THAT struck a chord... There were other tweets in the tweet line talking about journaling the emotions and thoughts when you eat rather than journaling the food. Which I thought was an interesting concept. 

I think of food in terms of flavour and how it will make me feel emotionally. 

I never think of it in terms of what it is doing for my body.

And let's face it, the only reason we need food is for what it does for our body. 

Every time I have dieted I have focussed on how much food I can fit into my allowance of whatever it is I am counting at the time. I have never stopped to think:-

I am tired, I need iron or protein. 

I am about to exercise, I need some carbs and some protein.

(See I know this stuff, I just don't put it into practice).

Time for a complete head-adjustment. Food purely for what my body needs. 

It will take a lot of work to change nearly 40 years of thinking a certain way. 

But I think I am on to something. I have changed my thinking on other things in the past, time to change my thinking on this.

My Tweets are probably going to be solely about this for a while, but that's okay. I don't think anyone reads them anyway and it gives me a safe place I can jot these thoughts down.

But I would love to know what you guys think....

No More Excuses

I know a lot of people hate The Biggest Loser, but I find it really motivating. The year that I lost heaps of weight (2008) I was right there with them.  In 2009, I started losing weight again during TBL. In 2010 TBL stopped me from gaining weight.

In 2011 it is going to help me lose again.

I have been getting really frustrated with the restrictions placed on me by being injured. This injury is taking months to heal. I have been off of it since September 2010.

Tomorrow night I am going to go to the gym to find things that don't hurt it. I need to be able to smash my exercise again. I can't run so I need to find alternatives.

If I can't find anything, I'll go back later in the week and try again.

As for the food...

Hmmm....

I'm struggling, aren't I. 

I need to work on that. And I will. But I need to get the exercise thing working. Coz that is what is driving me nuts...

Last nights dinner

was crap. Complete crap. 

I managed to come in okay as far as calories go - hit 2226 and did a hard bike ride last night. But dinner was NOT what I had planned and was crap.

This is not the thing I would normally admit to - usually I would go silent on the matter. But not anymore. Now I admit to these things.

So I got home from my ride just after 7 last night. I had been going really well with my food and had planned to have a big salad with cottage cheese and sweet chili tofu.

But I was hot and tired and starving when I got home... So I had some bread and butter (really high calorie delicious bread). Then I was still starving so I had 3 more bits of this absolutely decadent bread that has now been banned from our house with mushrooms and cheese, grilled.

Doesn't sound too bad, right?

Over 900 calories my friends....

Then at 1.30 this morning I woke up with the worst tummy cramps and ended up with the poos. Serves me right!

This morning I was craving - I mean seriously hankering for - some potato chips. Smiths Cheese and Onion to be precise. But I did not cave. I have had my oats, and am drinking my water. My next weigh in is tomorrow and damn it I want to see a loss!