The Boot Is Gone!!!!!

At least for a few days!

I am so excited. :)

My Physio has given me a 3 day trial out of the boot. If I go okay then I can stay out of it. If it gets worse he wants me to get anti-infammatory injections into the Achilles area (which I do not want).

So I am being super careful, taking my Voltaren, using my stick, and being as positive as possible that this is the final stage of the treatment!

Send me any healing vibes you have spare. :)

Caffeine

I have decided to go Caffeine-free.

I did this last year for about 5 months but it slowly crept back in. Now it is time to get rid of it for good.

I am prepared for the anxiety this time though. I know it will come. I know what it is. And I have tools to handle it.

Wish me luck!

New Plan

So I spent this week watching my food choices and portion sizes.

I did well except for breakfast - McDonalds Hash Browns and Muffins with cheese and egg get me every day....

A few highlights

 - Went out for dinner and gave 1/3 of my main (which was only entree size) to SVP

 - Gave half my dessert to SVP

 - Eating chocolate, after a few rows asked SVP to take the rest away and if I ask for it to tell me he has finished it

 - No seconds of pasta

How did it show on the scales????

I gained 1.2kgs....

*sigh*

So I need another new plan.

Counting calories with a twist.

I have taken my calorie allowance as set by several well known calorie counting websites

Taken 100 calories off for the fact that I am so sedentary right now

Taken another 200 calories off for vegetables (I am not counting veggies, they are free but I need to allow for them)

Multiplied it by 7 for the week

Thrown another 800 "treat" calories in

And given myself a weekly total of 12700.

This allows for non-hungry days and hungry days, as well as allowing for going out (I have about 6 birthdays to go to this month).

I will give it 2 weeks then re-assess.

Choices

I am starting make better ongoing food choices.

This morning I REALLY wanted chocolate. I wanted a bag of Malteasers (the big bags). Instead I got a small Malteaser Bunny.

My boss offered to buy Pizza for lunch. I said no thank you. I ate my cheese and crackers with a rice snack.

I am not setting records here, but I am making better choices.

Thank You

Thank you so much to everyone for your kindness on Friday.

I still don't know what was wrong, but I needed that cry. It went for about 3 hours on and off.

I am still feeling a lot of frustration at my leg, but I am trying to put a positive spin on things. I am also hoping I can come out of the boot tonight which is going to make a massive difference. I will still be on restrictions but won't be lugging around the heavy leg.

Weigh in today and I lost 1.3kgs. I did not "diet" as such this week, but made better choices. I didn't have dessert just becuase it was there. If I was full, I stopped eating. I am listening to my body.

If I can continue to lose 500g - 1 kg each weel doing this, I will stick with it. Once that stops I will go to a more formal dieting structure. I just don't feel ready to face that right now.

Thank you again for your support. You are all wonderful.

Crying

I have been crying my eyes out most of the afternoon and I do not know why...

I am not pre-menstrual. I am just upset, angry and frustrated at nothing in particular.

My leg is aching, but not hurting to the point of tears. I am at work alone so can't leave. But I just want to curl up and cry.

Normally when I feel like this I go for a long walk or ride.

But I can't.

And that makes it worse...

Struggling

Not being able to exercise and do anything active is doing my head in....

That is all...

Making Good Decisions

I am making good decisions today.

Salad roll or Thai for lunch?

Salad roll. :)

Am off for dinner tonight at a place that has a VERY limited vegetarian menu. So am eating first and will just get a small salad when I am there.

Good decisions.

:)

Moving Through Life

I kind of move through life in a bit of a haze at times.

Just doing what needs to be done. Not paying attention.

Here-in, my friends, lies my problem...

I need to pay attention. To what I am doing. To what I am thinking.

"If you do what you have always done, youwill get what you have always got". I am not sure whose quote this is but I love it. And it is true.

Time to pay attention. I am going to start with my thoughts. No more negative thoughts. No more putting myself down.

I have my list of affirmations. I am going to replace every negative thought with a positive one.

I am going to believe myself healthy.

Just you watch...

Weigh In

I am up to 149.4 kgs.

No real surprise there.

But I will NOT get to 150.

I made a good breakfast choice this morning. Have good food with me for lunch. Have no real desire for crap. And am feeling good.

I have withdrawn from Weight Watchers. It was too complicated. I don't want complicated. I understand calories. I can do this.

I approve of myself.

Something Has Shifted

I don't know what it is but I am not going to analyse it. I am going to accept it and go with it.

Saturday morning I had to duck into the local IGA to get bread. I was hungry. Normally I would grab chips and/or chocolate. I stopped. I looked at them. I realised my body did not need them. I went home and made lunch.

Saturday night I had dinner with friends. Where we went I usually end the night with ice cream. It was discussed. I listened to belly. It was full. I said no.

Sunday morning. Went into convenience store specifically to get a bag of chips as I was hungry and I knew I would be having a late lunch. I walked straight past the chips and got a take home pack of cheese and crackers (5 crackers and 8 small squares of cheese). I ate it and was full. I lasted until the late lunch.

Today, I sent SVP to the shop to get eggs and cheese. I did not beg for chocolate like I normally would. I didn't even think about it.

I am feeling calm. I am not covering my bald head in embarrassment (unless it is sunny out as I do not want to burn it). I am wearing it with my head held high.

I am Shrinking Vego.

I am proud.

I approve of me.

I have a public holiday today so did not get up early enough to weigh in. I will weigh in tomorrow and will record my weight with pride.

Emotional Week

Sorry for not posting, I have needed some time for introspection. Been working on the "inside". :)

Yesterday my long hair got shaved off. I have had a myriad of emotions over the last week about this. It is amazing how much of "me" was tied up in the hair. And now it is gone.

I feel naked.

Stripped completely bare.

But I also feel like an open book, ready for the pages to be rewritten. In a way that is exciting and new.

Something has shifted within. I read Lousie Hay's "You Can Heal You Life" this week and the shift began. So much made sense. I cried all the way through it.

And the hair thing on top of that. Well...

This is probably quite cryptic and I apologise. It is not meant to be. I am just sorting through what is in my head. The changes that are happening. I am hoping they are good.

Already I can see some movement.

The new me is about to emerge. 

Watch out...

Uh Oh...

So this week I remembered to get on the scales. 

I wish I hadn't...

148.4kgs (326.5lbs)

So. What do I need to do?

1) I need to pick a food plan and stick to it. 

I am going back to calorie counting. WW sucks. 

2) I need to fill my calorie allowance with healthy, whole foods.

I am eating oats with rice milk right now and have a salad for lunch and fruit for snacks.

3) I need to find ways to exercise without using my foot.

I am working on an upper body workout I can do sitting on a chair.

4) I need to believe in myself. 

This is probably the hardest one. But I need to believe that I can do it and all the rest will fall into place.

I can do this.

No More Crutches

Friday I got rid of the the crutches. They were just too hard to use. I kept tripping and putting my bad foot down and jarring it.

So now I have a Moon Boot and a walking stick. Aside from the boot being so hot, it is reasonably comfortable. The walking stick is annoying. I feel like an 80 year old! LOL

Sorry I have been quiet. Lots of thoughts running through my head. Will write more this week.

Forgot to Weigh In....

Last night I went and saw a Naturopath.  I haven't been "right" for a long time. I have bad sleep, I am tired all the time, my food cravings are out of control.

I went to a doctor last year who did bloods and they were all fine. So away I went.

The Naturopath was awesome. I won't bore you with the details but we are working on getting me "right" again. As part of that I have to take a range of herbs and supplements for a couple of weeks. 

This morning I was so concerned about what I had to take, I forgot to jump on the scales. I will do it tomorrow.

The first thing we are working on is the digestive issues and the fatigue. She gave me a herbal sleep tonic and I have to say, I slept a lot deeper last night than normal. I actually felt fairly well refreshed when I woke up. I am also taking some things for energy and to calm down the gut. 

I see her again in 2 weeks when we will start a detox. I am looking forward to that as I have wanted to do one for quite a while.

Hopefully as I get less tired and my tummy issues settle down (and hopefully the cravings stop) then I will be able to manage the food situation better than I have been.

I will keep you updated.

Just had the ultrasound...

The good news is there are no significant tears that would require surgery – YAY!

The bad news is the Radiographer said it looks like it has been smashed repeatedly with a hammer. He showed me the good one and the bad one and they seriously look like different body parts.

I am back to the Physio tonight. It looks like a long drawn out recovery.

I wonder if I should try and get the money back from the other Physio that I spent going there, since he was so useless…

The Best Thing....

About being on crutches is...

The thought of hobbling over tot he shops to get junk food is very unappealing...

So I have to eat what I have here. Which is all healthy. Yogurts and bananas only. 

:)

Suck it Up

OK - If I can't exercise for weeks, maybe even months, I need to suck it up and tighten up the food.

No more piss farting around. None of this "oh it's too hard" bullshit.

I need to pick whether I am going to count calories or points then stick to it. 

Everything you read says this is 80% diet, 20% exercise. People can and do lose weight without exercise. Just because I like to do it doesn't mean I have to.

No more moping. No more sulking.

Time to diet...