Weird being back

It is taking me some time to settle back in to be home. I was only gone for 4 days but it was so relaxing and I was so cut off that it feels like a lot longer.

I struggled last week with my healthy food habit challenge. Mainly because we could not get fresh fruit (or veg) where we went away. And we tried... It was really bizarre. So I am doing week 1 again.

In other news I am off to a new Physio tonight. My old one seemed to be pretty pathetic so I am getting a second opinion. I can feel a lump growing on the back of the Achilles and that is not good.... That added to the fact that it is constantly swollen leads me to believe he is not doing all he could be.

Weigh in this morning was slightly down. I have not been monitoring my food intake at all. Time to refocus.

The Black Dog is still hovering around the fringes as well. I am trying to do what I can to keep him at bay but it is hard...

Depression and Anxiety

Last year I battled several months of quite severe depression and anxiety. I didn't tell anyone when I was in the grips of it, I just suffered in silence. 

I have had anxiety and depression before, but not like this. The anxiety was the worst. It was absolutely horrendous. 24/7 I had that horrible sinking feeling. There was no escape.

It's back. Not to the extent that it was here last year, but it's here. It kind of snuck up on me. A flutter of the chest here, a sinking feeling there. 

This morning I put it all together.

The early stages of depression I can handle. Exercise, eat well, read positive books, surround myself with positive people. Done this many times.

But anxiety is new. I didn't even know I had it last year until I had already been living with it for months. 

I don't know how to deal with it. 

So what does all this have to do with a diet and exercise blog?

A hell of a lot actually....

My struggles with the food are affected by my moods. And conversely my mood is very much affected by the foods I eat.

Plus I just needed somewhere safe to get this all out. 

I will not let this take over my like as it did last year. I will kick it. I may just cry a bit here in need...

Feeling Blue

I am having a down day. It started last night. Don’t know why but all of a sudden I was in tears. Weird. It is almost TTOM so that could be it.

But of course it makes me want to eat. A lot.

I want chocolate.

I haven’t got any though.

But I want it.

Why is it so damn hard to do this???

I will go to my corner now. I just wanted to vent.