Caffeine

In May last year I gave up caffeine.

What followed was months and months of severe anxiety. While I am sure they were not related, the initial stages of the anxiety were triggered by the removal of caffeine from my system.

I lasted 6 months without even a taste of the stuff.

But slowly it started creeping back in. A cup of tea here. A coke there...

The other day I realised I am back to drinking over a litre of diet coke every day again.

How did that happen?

So today I have decided no more. Time to get rid of it again. I feel a lot better without (so does my wallet). 

Already I am feeling the chest flutters that precede the anxiety. But I am not going to let it take hold and I am not going to let it sway me from my decision.

Caffeine free - here we come!

Depression and Anxiety

Last year I battled several months of quite severe depression and anxiety. I didn't tell anyone when I was in the grips of it, I just suffered in silence. 

I have had anxiety and depression before, but not like this. The anxiety was the worst. It was absolutely horrendous. 24/7 I had that horrible sinking feeling. There was no escape.

It's back. Not to the extent that it was here last year, but it's here. It kind of snuck up on me. A flutter of the chest here, a sinking feeling there. 

This morning I put it all together.

The early stages of depression I can handle. Exercise, eat well, read positive books, surround myself with positive people. Done this many times.

But anxiety is new. I didn't even know I had it last year until I had already been living with it for months. 

I don't know how to deal with it. 

So what does all this have to do with a diet and exercise blog?

A hell of a lot actually....

My struggles with the food are affected by my moods. And conversely my mood is very much affected by the foods I eat.

Plus I just needed somewhere safe to get this all out. 

I will not let this take over my like as it did last year. I will kick it. I may just cry a bit here in need...